Your Life's Story: Be The Hero

Imagine your child, or someone from a future generation opening the first page to your autobiography. What will be in store for them as they read your life’s story? Will it be a story of tragedy or triumph, will it be the story of a loser or a winner, will it be drab because you played it safe or inspiring because you lived boldly and unapologetically?

If you are reading this, I will assume that you are alive and kicking which means that you have many more pages of your autobiography to write. Fortunately, no matter how bad the first half of your book is, you have the artistic license to flip the script and turn your autobiography into a page-turner that will thrill and inspire anyone who reads it.

Essentially, you have the power to choose the type of person you will become in your own life story, as well as how people will remember you.

In this article I’m going to give you four character types that you can play in your life story, and hopefully you will find clarity in the role that is best for you.

The Non-Playable Character (Background Actor)

There’s not much that I know about gaming. But one thing that I do know is the concept of the “non-playable character” or (NPC). An NPC is a character who has been programmed to follow a script and behave in a certain way. Given that the main role of the NPC is to support the storyline without any decision-making authority or ability to influence outcomes, the NPC is controlled by the computer and is pre-programmed to act in a predictable manner.

Another way to view the concept of the NPC is as a background actor – in the scene but voiceless and effectively invisible with no major role in the direction of the story.

The concept of the NPC can be applied to the real world as well. You may be thinking that you certainly do not fall into this category, but I’d go as far as to say that the NPC represents the collective average or status-quo of society. By definition, most people must fall into the average, and most people must be what society considers to be normal, or rule followers. So chances are that you, if not now then at some point in life, fell into the frame of the NPC.

I certainly have….

Most of us grew up in a society that dictates what our lives should look like from the moment we were born and we are funneled into a very specific lifestyle which we deem as “normal”. Without deep introspection, observation, and sheer guts, it is very difficult to break out of this character type.

If some form of the following statement sounds like a successful life, then I hate to break it to you, but there is a good chance that you may fall into the NPC role:

“Go to school, stay out of trouble, make good grades, go to college, get a stable high paying job, climb the corporate ladder, buy a nice house and car, start a family, take an occasional vacation, contribute 10-20% to your 401k, and work until retirement … all while suppressing your primal inclinations because you now have ‘adult’ responsibilities and have no time for childish dreams.”

The NPC plays by society’s rules, and lets their lives and thoughts be dictated by societal norms and other people’s opinions.

There is nothing inherently wrong about the NPC role. The fact is that the world needs them because they play a vital role in fulfilling the narratives that are created by the smaller, yet more influential group of characters in life. The question is, is this the role that is right for you, and if not then are you filling the role of the non-playable character when you really shouldn’t be?

For most of my adult life I fell into this role until I began to question everything and apply a healthy degree of skepticism towards the lifestyles, ideas, and beliefs that most would consider to be normal.

The NPC or background actor role is the path of least resistance in life, but with it comes with the price of mediocrity. Readers likely won’t even make it halfway through your story before discarding it for something better.

The Victim

Every story needs a victim. Someone who needs to be rescued. Perhaps their rescue will come, perhaps not. However, what is interesting about the victim role is that this person has the power to self-actualize and save themselves, but chooses not to due to lack of self-confidence, accountability, or awareness.

All 8 billion people on the planet will occasionally experience both good and bad times. Sometimes the bad times are downright ugly. But those who choose to step into the victim role will see most people as bad actors, and the world as conspiring to bring them down. They will over-inflate the bad times and ignore the good.

The victim ignores the valuable lessons that come out of life’s trials and tribulations, and instead keeps a tally of the bad things that has happened to him. This person blames the world for one’s dissatisfactions with life, placing the responsibility to make life better on other people rather than taking ownership over their own life.

From my observation the victim role is far less common than the NPC, but far more harmful towards society. While the NPC is relatively benign, the victim feeds off of other people’s good spirits and positive energy without giving any in return. Unlike the person who has no ability to determine the narrative, the victim actively uses manipulation to fulfill their narrative through the empathy and kindness of others.

It may not be an honorable narrative, but it is a narrative nonetheless.

Ironically this person gains true satisfaction and enjoyment from the attention and pity they receive from the world when everyone rallies behind them.

When it comes to real-world examples of the victim story, look no further than the 24-hour news cycle where narratives of victimhood and outrage bring in millions of viewers on a nightly basis.

Being the victim is a compelling story, it will engage readers, but they will not envy you, and your life story certainly will not inspire them. The victim is the loser.

The Villain

We all feel wronged by the world sometimes. When this happens, some will remain perpetual victims while some others will progress into an even more sinister role.

Enters the villain…

If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “hurt people, hurt people” then I’d suggest it perfectly summarizes the villain role. This is a person who channels their past traumas and bad experiences into negative energy towards the world rather than leveraging those experiences to become better, stronger, wiser.

The villain will knowingly or unknowingly tear others down through lying, deception, cheating, stealing, etc.

The villain is motivated by spite, and their happiness is tied to the pain and suffering of other people, commonly characterized by the German word “schadenfreude” which loosely translates to “joy in another’s pain.”

We’ve all played the villain before. I think back to times where I was jealous of another person’s success, or insecure about my own shortcomings so I projected that negative energy onto them and towards others around me.

The villain’s story will certainly be captivating, it will be remembered, and will even inspire some. Afterall there are few things in the world greater than sweet revenge.

However, to be a villain you must go against your natural human inclination to be a “good” person. I won’t go into detail here, but Nicholas Christakis goes into detail about our innate desire to do good in his book “Blueprint: Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society.”

The Hero

The hero is the opposite of the villain. This person’s life is a journey of facing demons and channeling that energy for the better. The hero willingly takes on challenges, puts himself in uncomfortable situations to improve himself and those he comes into contact with, and consistently rises to the occasion particularly when it is at the most inopportune time.

Heros decide to press forward no matter what insurmountable odds lie before them. They do not spend time dwelling in what could have been, or what things the world has done wrong to them. They are focused on creating a better future for themselves and for society as a whole.

To be a hero, one must deliberately move from a position of weakness, or living in fear, and into a position of strength, or basking in opportunity. By doing this he takes full responsibility and control over his life, moves decisively, and course corrects when mistakes are made. The hero’s story is one of living intentionally, with discipline and purpose, and ultimately adhering to a set of moral principles and virtues.

The person in this role is fixated on elevating in whichever area of life is most meaningful to them whether it’s in business, fitness, art, sports, or any of the other noble pursuits that are out there. Whichever it is, what is most important is that this person following their life’s task ultimately results in a net benefit to society.

At the end of a story, people want to emulate the hero because this person’s rise from obscurity into a self-made force for positive change is both inspirational and relatable in some ways.

Which character will you be?

We all have likely played each of these roles at one time or another. Life is complex, and we are never stagnant in our roles. However, we also have the ability to choose one role to be the prevailing wind in our life journey. We may momentarily step into any particular role, but over the course of life, whichever role we lean into more often than not will set the direction of our life and the tone of our life’s story.

Which role will you step into from this page onward? The choice is yours.

I challenge each and every one of you reading this to choose the be the hero of your life story.

Your kids and future generations will one day read it, and what a tragedy it would be for them to turn the last page realizing that their mother, father, aunt, uncle, grandparent, or distant forebearer was a non-playable character, a victim, or a villain in his or her own life’s story.

Because if this is the case, then someone else will become their hero.