Universal Truths...
Newtons third law of motion – “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
The first law of thermodynamics – "Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transferred."
Both of these laws center around one “universal truth” which is that, when all things are considered, the universe is always tending towards equilibrium. When it is summer on one part of the planet, it is winter on the other. If there is matter, there also is antimatter. When one thing gets hotter, another thing gets colder.
Consider a flashlight. When you shine it outside in the middle of the day time, you see nothing. The abundance of light outside is more than enough to wash out any effect of the flashlight. But when that same flashlight is shined in a dark room, the light becomes visible. The visibility of the light is contingent on the darkness of the environment. Without darkness, there cannot be light. Contrast is necessary. Light and darkness are equal and opposite.
The Hedonic Balance
The beauty in this principle is that it applies to more than just the physical laws of nature. It also applies to the many aspects of our daily lives including within our own brain chemistry. Happiness and sadness are not absolute facts. Rather they are a mere interpretation of our perceived reality. And our perception of reality is driven in large part by our brains, our neural networks, and our hormones.
Like the laws of motion and thermodynamics, our brains and bodies are constantly striving for equilibrium. In biological terms, we may call this “homeostasis,” which is “the inclination of the human body to seek as well as maintain balance, stability, and equilibrium.” Homeostasis applies not only to the body, but also applies to the mind in terms of interpreting our perceptions of reality to create positive and negative feelings.
Perceptions of life that result in positive interpretations such as achievement, pleasure, and joy must be balanced out by prerequisite experiences such as struggle, pain, and sadness. Similar to a light needing darkness to be recognized, struggle must take place for achievement to be felt. On the other hand, if life was always effortless, then life would be devoid of feelings of achievement. Like the laws of the universe, this dichotomy is not only opposite, but also equal in proportions.
This is what I like to call the “hedonic balance.”
Consider for a Moment, If You Will
Let’s take for example the experience of being stranded outside in freezing cold temperatures. Hands like bricks, and feet numb. Now imagine finally stepping inside into a warm building heated at a pleasantly warm 73˚F. You probably imagine a rush of endorphins, relief, and excitement in that first moment.
Now lets take a similar example. It’s 73˚F outside. You are feeling the pleasant warmth of the sun along with a cool breeze. Then you step into a building that’s also 73˚F. Despite the comfort of the building, you feel no sense of relief, no excitement, no rush of endorphins…. you feel… nothing.
In both cases, you walk into a building at the same temperature. Yet one experience makes you feel amazing and alive. The other experience is not worth noting. Same environment, but very different experiences between the two. This is an example of how our interpretation of a perceived reality can drive our happiness and sadness, our well-being and our discomfort.
The only difference between the two examples is that in the first, pain and extreme discomfort preceded the experience of walking into a heated building. The point here is that oftentimes in life discomfort is a necessary prerequisite for the eventual feeling of joy and pleasure.
Likewise the equal and opposite effect of walking from one comfortable environment to another is that you will continue feeling comfortable, but you will not feel the joy of overcoming something. A hard day of toil makes the bed feel better, an intense workout makes sitting down and doing absolutely nothing feel better, a cold and dreary winter makes a warm and sunny summer feel better, a painful and toxic relationship makes us appreciate healthy connections more, etc.
Overcoming struggle, the journey from a lesser state to a better state, is where positive psychology is created.
Modern Age of Comfort
Dissatisfaction, frustration, agony, pain, sadness, etc are necessary. While we naturally do not take pleasure in these things, we must learn to embrace them. Let our natural internal mechanisms run their course. Unfortunately in modern times, we are met with a sea of easily accessible distractions that enable us to run from discomfort, and live in a distorted reality in which constant comfort is the norm.
For most of us, no longer are the days of spending countless hours tracking and hunting prey for food and nourishment. Today we enjoy the convenience of effortlessly throwing a cut of meat into our cart in the grocery store with no concept or thought of where the food came from or the fact that it was once a living-breathing being. This makes us appreciate our food less, and if unseasoned, eating the food may even be an unpleasant experience.
For most of us, no longer are the days of having to continuously uproot and migrate to another geography because of extreme drought. Today we enjoy the convenience of turning on the tap and consistently having instant water, even in deserts which are naturally unsuitable for sustaining human life. The access to water is not only effortless, but we also become prone to underappreciating the true value of water (which I would argue is worth far more than it’s weight in gold).
The constant conveniences of modernity are not without consequences. Like the laws of motion or thermodynamics, equilibrium must be achieved. The only way for this to happen is for us to interpret our perception of reality in a way that creates an equal and opposite effect of the constant comfort that we live in. The equal and opposite effect is that our baseline level of happiness goes down, our dopamine becomes less potent, and we require more intense stimuli to temporarily bring up our happiness to satisfactory levels.
We open the door to falling into chronic depression, a sense of purposelessness, and a general dissatisfaction with life despite “having all that we could possibly wish for.”
We also become susceptible to developing addictions on drugs, alcohol, social media, mindless television, food, gambling, external validation, and more because the simpler pleasures like having a roof over our heads or having food in the refrigerator can no longer bring us joy.
The happiness goal posts have moved. This phenomenon is known as the “hedonic treadmill” or “hedonic adaptation.” Dr. Anna Lembke, professor of psychiatry at Stanford University, goes into extensive detail on this topic much more eloquently than me in her book “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence”
Accepting the Bad With the Good
This is why I cannot stress enough the importance of practicing acceptance towards the unfortunate and unpleasant circumstances in life. In a ironic way, these occurrences are essential for keeping our hedonic balance in check, and ensuring that we do not become overly numb to the simple pleasantries in life.
It’s time that we stop associating unpleasant experiences as “bad.” Rather we should consider viewing them as necessary for the hedonic balance, as the prerequisite starting point in the transition from a lesser state to a better state, and as the darkness needed to contrast with light.
This shift in thinking sets the stage for us to avoid the tendency to run away from discomfort, and instead to embrace it for what it is. It alters our brain chemistry to balance out the negative with equal yet opposite positive interpretations of life experiences through feelings of gratitude, fulfillment, excitement, joy, achievement, pleasure, etc.