Lately I've enjoyed insane levels of motivation to make big changes that will take my life to the next level.
I realize that many people really struggle with the notion of making lifestyle changes to better themselves. Most of us already know what we should be doing, however the act of doing is much different than simply knowing what to do. It requires a different level of commitment and desire to move from "knowing" to "doing."
So I want to share with you my approach that leads me to pretty easily and decisively make life changes that have resulted in me overcoming depression and anxiety, getting into insane shape, quitting my job and moving to Europe, as well as many other outcomes that I've successfully manifested into my life.
In the words of Victor Frankl, "suffering ceases to be suffering the moment it finds meaning" ... in other words, the resistance that you commonly experience when you try to do what's best for yourself.. that resistance will effectively disappear once you have clarity of the purpose behind your actions.
The unfortunate truth is that most people will embark on new journeys without having the level of clarity that they need to endure, so the moment they experience a bit of turbulence or rough waters, they break and go back to the habits and behaviors that got them there in the first place.
They go back to a life of mediocrity and unfulfilled potential.
But when you are crystal clear on WHY you decided to do something new and difficult, you are much more likely to adopt a long term approach where you are willing to endure temporary discomforts and delay gratification for the satisfaction of achieving your grander vision.
But, how does one gain this level of clarity?
I personally like to use a powerful tool that I call "anti-visioning."
You see, as humans we are much more inclined to be motivated by fear over opportunity. We'd rather avoid pain than experience pleasure. We are way more responsive to anything we perceive as bad than we are to anything we perceive as good.
As a result we are much better at identifying what we don't want than what we do want. So with anti-visioning I create a scenario for myself that is the absolute worst case. All of the things that I don't want, the things that terrify me... all of those things become my anti-vision.
Then I flip my anti-vision upside-down to create my vision. My vision is essentially the inverse of my anti-vision. It is all of the things I want to manifest into my life.
And by doing it this way, I can identify things that I previously never may have thought of including into my vision, and I am more easily able to identify my purpose, which is basically the actions I need to take to not end up fulfilling my anti-vision.
This reverse way of doing things gets me to a point of clarity much faster than trying to figure out what I want from the start.
If in my anti-vision I am poor, then in my vision I am rich. If in my anti-vision I am sick, in my vision I am in the best health ever. If in my anti-vision I am lonely, in my vision I have an abundance of fruitful relationships. So on and so forth.
Now I have a vision for myself.
I use my vision as a north star.. but then I try to get even more specific by imagining in great detail what my perfect week would look like when my vision is fulfilled:
Am I rushing off to work in the morning or do I have total time freedom?
Am I lonely or do I have a significant other to share my experiences with?
Am I stressed about finances or is my life lived far below my means?
Am I feeling groggy and hungover or do I feel refreshed and energized?
Am I in a cluttered and messy home or do I wake up to a quiet and clean space?
Am I overwhelmed by all of my obligations or do I have a small few clear priorities?
The list goes on....
After I envision what my absolute perfect week looks like, the next step is to ask myself "what current habits and actions do I have which DO align with this vision and which ones DO NOT?"
However, there's a good chance that anyone who asks this question will have a few blind spots that are not registering. So the best way to truly answer this question is to spend 2-4 weeks observing.
For you, every time you are feeling great, write down what it is that's making you feel so good. What is your location, who are you with, what are you doing, etc... and on the flip side, every time you feel really bad with anxiety or depression or any other negative feeling, then also take note of that. Put these observations into "positive" and "negative" columns, then after a few weeks, group your observations based on how similar they are to each other.
Eventually you will find recurring themes that explain the drivers behind your positive and negative feelings.
Doing this has given me an insane level of clarity, and with this new information I'm able to confidently start eliminating the things that make me feel bad, and do more of the things that make me feel good.
Essentially I want to try to have many more good days and far fewer bad days.
And the goal is to eventually string together a full week of really really REALLY good days, and then try to replicate those weeks as much as possible to create a lifestyle that is aligned with my greater vision.
In the beginning, this can feel a bit counterintuitive because some of the things most people tend to eliminate might be their greatest sources of short term gratification. For many people, these include things like alcohol, food, social media, video games, casual sex, retail therapy, etc...
On the other hand, many of the things that a person should do more of can oftentimes feel boring or not as interesting.
But as mentioned before, with more clarity of purpose, it becomes significantly easier to endure the discomfort of FOMO, boredom, etc in exchange for the excitement of long term achievement.
This is absolutely the case for me in my recent decision to stop drinking. Trust me, if there is anyone who enjoys a good cocktail in a moody lounge with vibey music and rooftop views, it's me. However after going through the recent exercise of creating my anti-vision, and then visualizing my "best week ever" I realized that drinking just doesn't fit into my longer term vision, and therefore does not have a place in my life at the moment.
I should also say that this extends far beyond drinking, as there are many other habits and lifestyle modifications I'm in the middle of transforming with virtually no internal resistance.
And the biggest reason I'm able to do this is because I am very clear on my anti-vision, my vision (north star), and the specific actions that I need to take to eventually experience my "best week ever."